Friday, November 25, 2016

A632.6.3.RB_LeeDarrell - The High Cost of Conflict

Happy Thanksgiving week to you all! This week, we have shifted gears just a little and are beginning to discuss conflict and conflict resolution. When we are faced with conflict, we often look for ways to settle it – to come to an agreement. However, we shouldn’t want to just settle our conflicts. We should strive to resolve them. “Resolution is much better than settling! Resolution provides relief and completeness. The situation no longer gnaws at your gut” (Levine, 2009, p. 3). As a Soldier, an analogy that comes to mind is an armistice versus a true peace. We don’t want to just have a cease fire but we want the war to be over and to rebuild together through collaboration! With today being Black Friday, I can imagine that many of us are facing conflict today with our shopping experiences. We may settle and be willing to fight the Black Friday madness for the discounts but I have resolved that issue by shopping online. It’s a win-win. The stores get my money. I get the discounts without the crowds. That is the direction that I want to take my thinking about conflict – I don’t want to focus on how to settle conflict but rather on reaching true resolution.

Levine (2009) shows how we can take ten ways of thinking and change them to reach resolution. They are as follows (listed as old followed by new)(p. 49).:
1.      Scarcity – Believing in abundance
2.      Wasting of resources – Creating partnerships
3.      Problems, issues, emotions – Being creative
4.      Fostering conflict – Fostering sustainable collaboration
5.      Righteous bravado, posturing – Becoming open
6.      Short-term adversary – Forming long-term collaborations
7.      Logic – Relying on feelings and intuition
8.      Secrecy – Disclosing information and feelings
9.      Winning – Learning throughout the resolution process
10.  Deferring to professionals – Becoming ResponseAble

I am currently experiencing a major conflict at work and, to be honest, it seems like the way forward up to this point has been settling on minor issues as they arise. I feel comfortable disclosing this information in this blog even though there are a few senior leaders in my chain of command that do read this blog from time to time because they are aware of the facts of the situation. I currently have a member of my team that was transferred to me from another center because of personality conflicts on his last team. However, this is actually his 4th center in two years and he has had issues with every team and center leader. Since we are in the Army, there are certain protections that are in place and someone cannot simply be “fired”. The benefit of the doubt is always given to the Solider and precise documentation must exist before punitive action can be taken and that wasn’t accomplished in the past but internal administrative actions such as transfers can be completed without negative documentation to protect the interests of all that were involved. Before this individual came to work in my center, we had an agreement that he would come to me with a clean slate and a fresh start. I did my best to honor that agreement but the personality conflict is so great that it only took about three months for the entire team to begin to deteriorate. The current fix action is for him to now be transferred out of the Company (all moves to this point have been within the Company) where he will serve the remainder of his contract as an “administrative assistant” and will be denied reenlistment but will separate from the Army with an honorable discharge. I am disappointed that we could not resolve the conflict without the situation coming to that. As his Center Leader (though I am the 4th Center Leader where an unresolvable conflict has existed), it is my responsibility to work with people and incorporate them into the team.

There are a few old ways of thinking that really needed to change for a resolution to have been reached. First, it is obvious that this individual was fostering conflict. I don’t believe that he ever had a desire to truly foster sustainable collaboration. The fact that this is his 4th center is evidence of that. Also, it appears to me that he had a winning mindset. Everything seemed to be about him getting his way instead of wanting to actually learn through the process. However, I think that is maybe where I also failed in this conflict. What I mean by that is not that I should have caved to his tantrums and desires. As a Center Leader, I still have a mission to complete and I am still in charge BUT I also have an obligation to every member of my team – even the difficult ones – to provide a positive environment. I perhaps focused too much on the actual problems, issues, and emotions and failed to always be creative in how to resolve the conflict.

If I had focused on all ten of the new ways of thinking, would the conflict have been resolved? Most likely not, honestly. It is clear where the issue is in this particular case. However, what if I could have encouraged him to change his ways of thinking? If we both had the new mindsets, perhaps he would continue to be not just on my team but on the Army team.


Levine, S. (2009). Getting to resolution: Turning conflict into collaboration. San Francisco, CA:

Berrett-Koehler. 

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